Becoming "seasoned"

Shewwww weeeee...what a week!  Last Saturday our little Will started running fever.  We went to the doctor on Monday and his doctor thought it was most likely fever virus and that it would run it's course.  On Wednesday, Will was doing so much worse...not eating and somewhat lethargic.  We went back to the doctor and he tested positive for the FLU!:(  On Thursday we thought he was getting better because the fever was way down, but on Friday (yesterday) it spiked again...so back to the doctor we went.  Our little man was diagnosed with an ear infection!. So here it is 2:24 a.m. on Saturday and I am blogging because my little boy just woke up wanting to eat!  PRAISE THE LORD!  I am so happy to see that he's getting a little bit of an appetite back.  On top of all of this with Will, we both caught the flu from him...so caring for him has been truly a challenge.  I had the flu shot, but Cullen did not, so as terrible as I felt, I was probably the most healthy of us all.  If this is what having a "lessened" form of the flu feels like, I am sooo thankful to my nurse friend Joan Wells for pushing me to have the flu shot, because I can't imagine it being much worse!  Joan can attest that I HATE shots, but came a long way in my 9 years working at hospice.  This year, as a non-hospice employee, I CHOSE to get the shot and I can honestly give an honest shout out to the flu shot now!  Cullen and I were suppose to leave for a romantic getaway on Thursday, but things changed when we all became stricken with nastiness.  As I sit here in the early morning silence (and feeling some better), I can honestly say that despite how trying this week has been...I have learned so much.  I have learned a lot about active prayer this week.  I did not have a typical "quiet time" this week...sitting down and writing in my prayer journal and going to Him in prayer.  What I DID have was time with my Savior praying over Will as I rocked my toasty warm little boy to sleep.  I prayed while rocking, I prayed while showering, I prayed while I tried to muster up enough energy to walk up the stairs (as my legs were aching like I had actually done something athletic).  It was one of those times in your life when you pray actively and persistently for the Lord to give you strength...and He did.  I found myself constantly quoting scriptures in my head to remind myself that He will give me strength and He will see me through.  Every time I felt I had no more energy and that my tank was empty...He provided!  The Lord not only provided me with energy when I needed it, but He also provided me with friends who knew just what I needed, when I needed it.  I had friends drop off meals, food, groceries...and most of all, I had friends praying for us.  This week has been a challenge, but I feel like I grew a lot as a mother.  I think about my former job, as a hospice social worker.  I did not become a "seasoned" social worker through caring for my easy patients with no needs.  I did not become a seasoned social worker by helping caregivers who were grieving appropriately and had no emotional struggles.  I became a seasoned social worker through the challenging cases on my caseload.  It was in those times that I leaned on the Lord to guide me as I tried to reach the needs of those I was caring for.  He used those times to mold me and teach me about empathy and how to minister to those who are hurting.  I don't think that my new "job" is any different.  I think the Lord uses weeks like this one to mold us as mothers, and to teach us how to truly care for our little ones...and to remind us that we can't do it without Him!  I am a work in progress and I am so very thankful that I know WHO is at work within me.  All that to be said, I am praying for a healthier week for the Smith family next week!!!  We didn't have the easiest of weeks, but it was one week.  There are so many out there who deal with the sickness of their little ones on a daily basis with no end in sight and my heart aches for them on a whole new level.  Thanks to everyone who was there for us this week...you know who you are:)

With a pinch of disorder...:)

Well, it is painfully obvious that I have failed with one of my new year's resolutions...to be a better blogger! On the other hand, I have been making LOTS of time for family and friends (one of my other resolutions).  I got to see so many of the people that I love in January, and how great that was! We made multiple trips to Birmingham, had several visitors here, and also went to Rome, Georgia to see my precious friend Kendall. The blessing jar is still going strong too (another resolution). We finally ran out of the ugly brown paper and are now using red in celebration of Valentine's Day!!!  January was also a time of celebration as I turned 34 and little Will turned eight months old. EIGHT months?!?! Where has the time gone?  Everyone told me to enjoy each and every day because it flies by...and I am realizing that more and more every month.  I have already started planning Will's first birthday party!  I cannot believe that it will be here in 4 little months (and Cullen cannot believe I am already planning!) I must say (if it's any comfort to even newer moms out there) that it just keeps getting better.  Will keeps getting sweeter and sweeter and I love how much he interacts with us now.  He is full of smiles, laughter and excitement as he discovers new things. In the past week I have found him sitting up in his crib waiting for us to come get him up-too cute! He is now crawling, which has made getting anything done around the house that much more challenging!  It is amazing how much Will is teaching me...and he doesn't even know he's doing it!  I am a bit of a clean freak (a "bit") and have always lived comfortably in an organized, clean home.  I have labored over cleaning our home trying to keep it perfect and free of dog hair, etc.  I am learning how to let go of some of that and focus on what matters...time with the people I love.  Don't get me wrong, I can't handle living in chaos and squalor, but I have learned to embrace a "new normal"...and it's really not so bad. In the big picture of life, I doubt I will look back and have remorse for not keeping my house cleaner...or for that matter, not having a shower everyday:)  I WILL however look back and consider what I did with my time...and my life.  I don't want to have remorse for not spending enough time with those I love.  Isn't it amazing what an 8 month old can teach you?  It just goes to show that the Lord will use whatever means possible to mold us...including my precious Will bug.  I am working to change my focus.  Instead of worrying over dog hair, the dog beds being in the middle of the floor, where I need something to be hung on the wall, and trying to keep a perfectly straight house...I am focusing on maintaining a loving home.  I think the Lord is breaking me of my attempt to control through keeping order; and while it's challenging, I know it is going to bless my heart so much!  I have so much to learn and I am so very thankful that the Lord has put people in my life to encourage me, validate what I am going through, and also to share what they have learned on their mom journey:)  

Here are some pics to celebrate 8 months of pure joy (with a minor headache now and then!)

Will-daddy long legs!

My blue-eyed baby:)

Sweetness galore!

Will's new pack n' play "ball pit":)

Will with Kendall's little boy, Levi:)