Happy Birthday to my sweetheart!

This week was one to celebrate, as my sweetheart turned 40!  I am a bit jealous of his good genes (because he looks 10 years younger), but am thankful that he will always be older than me:) Ha!  

I contemplated throwing him a big surprise party but if you know Cullen, then you know he is not the type to enjoy a lot of "hoopla". Cullen is one that refers to birthdays as "just another day that ends in y".  His simple approach to life is one of the things I love most about him.  He has such a gracious heart and such a humble spirit...and is so very sentimental (a quality that I cherish in him). As I thought about his birthday, I wanted to do something special, but something that HE would appreciate.  I remembered seeing something on Pinterest and decided to expand on that idea and I am so proud of how it turned out!  In honor of his 40th birthday, I decided to create a book of letters for him...from those who know and love him.  I began this idea back in April with a letter to his family, friends and even some of his coworkers...asking for their help in my endeavor:)  The letter:

Hello everyone!

If you're receiving this letter it is because you are someone that has impacted Cullen’s life and likewise someone who has been impacted by Cullen. As you know, Cullen will be turning 40 in December.  To celebrate his birthday, I would like to put together a little surprise to let him know that there are many who are celebrating his 40 years of life. I am going to try and create "40 Years of Memories" by filling 40 envelopes with a memory his friends and family have of him.  Cullen is very sentimental and I thought this would be an incredible keepsake for him and one that can be passed down to Will…and any kids to come.  The letters/memories will come from family members, friends, coworkers and church friends so that it will truly encompass all of you who are important to Cullen. 

I need your help in creating this surprise for Cullen.  If you have a spare moment in the next few weeks, I would be so grateful if you would jot down a few words about how Cullen has impacted your life, or simply a favorite memory of him.  Please do whatever is easiest for you as far as handwritten or typed.  It can also be as long, or as short, as you want…there are no rules or formats, just something that will be meaningful for Cullen to keep.

Thank you so very much for helping me with this! I know how busy everyone is, so I truly appreciate you taking the time to do this for me…and ultimately for Cullen.  Your time and efforts will be well worth it when he reads what each of you wrote. (Please don't forget to keep it a surprise until then though!) 

My sincerest thanks,

Bethany Smith

P.S. I am enclosing an envelope that is addressed to my parents’ house-so that Cullen will not see themJ.   

I got a handful of letters immediately and more over the summer. I decided to send out a reminder email around October to remind everyone to please send them as soon as they could because I had decided to make the letters into a scrapbook. I am so thankful to Cullen's friends and family for helping me with this because the end result was incredible!  I was so impressed with the time that so many put into them...and how genuinely heartfelt so many were.  I loved reading the stories people shared and it was so special to read about how much Cullen means to his friends and family.  I did not need these letters to tell me what a remarkable husband I have...but I am grateful that he has this book as a keepsake, and something he can pass down to Will and baby #2.  I am sharing this on my blog for others out there who may need an idea for a birthday or anniversary...for that sentimental loved one in your life:)  

Happy Birthday Cullen!

We celebrated over dinner...and his favorite dessert, banana pudding!  Will helped his daddy blow out his candle with his spatula...aka, his sword:)  

The spirit of Christmas...

Do you ever just have one of those days, where everything goes right and you end the day feeling so warm and cozy inside?!  Well, I do...and today was sure one of them.  It has been a long week at our house...a week with a sick little one.  It started last Saturday with pink eye in both eyes, then fever, and then a diagnosis of pneumonia.  I will have to say though, that our little guy has been a trooper!  I am so thankful that we got started on antibiotics early and even more thankful at how quickly Will started acting like himself again:)  

Last night, my sweet husband told me he wanted me to take a day to go shop, or do whatever...just a day to have some "me time".  I think he could sense that I was running fever...cabin fever that is.  I am so grateful to be married to such a thoughtful man, who can read me like a book. I really hit the jackpot when the Lord brought Cullen into my life!  

So today began with a non-fat white chocolate mocha(the "nonfat" thing just makes me feel better-they're still full of calories!) and then I was off to shop until I had gotten my fill of the Christmas hustle and bustle!  I went to TJ Max-it was heaven!  I think I went down every aisle...just enjoying not having to worry that Will was going to lose it before I could get out of the store:)  I then went to the mall...and this is where the warm and cozy feeling I mentioned earlier comes into play.  I sat in the food court eating my Auntie Anne's pretzel (yes, I cannot go to the mall without getting one) and began my favorite hobby of all...people watching!  While I will confess, people watching does not always bring about warm and cozy feelings...sometimes it leads me to believe that our society is dying a slow, painful death; but today was different.  There was truly a spirit of Christmas and you could just feel it by watching the shoppers.  I saw elderly couples, and young couples alike, holding hands.  I saw grandparents shopping with their grandchildren, wearing smiles that told the world how proud they were of those little ones.  I saw generations of families shopping together...and having fun doing so!  I saw moms and dads loving on their babies and children.  This "spirit" was not isolated to the food court, but to everyone I passed in the mall. It was one of those days that when I smiled at people, they smiled back.  I got in my car after shopping 11 days before Christmas, and was surprised at how wonderfully pleasant my shopping experience was:)  I think I forgot how contagious the Christmas spirit really is...and I am ending this day wishing the "spirit of Christmas" stayed with us year round.  Let us all enjoy this most wonderful time of the year!  Merry Christmas!!!:)

Comfortable joy...

Dear Little One, 

You are 21 weeks old today, growing in my belly...the app on my phone tells me you are the size of a banana:)  This may sound crazy to you when you read this, but it is just now really sinking in that we are pregnant again.  With your older brother, everything felt a bit different...and up until this point, I worried that the differences in my responses were wrong, but I am here to tell you that they are not.  Will's arrival not only brought excitement, but a level of anxiety that I did not even know was present.  I can remember thinking about how his arrival was going to change our worlds...and our lifestyle.  I felt I had to be "prepared" as much as possible on the forefront because deep down I felt a bit ill-prepared on the inside.  I had never been a mother before and had nothing to base it on.  What if I was horrible at it?  What if I didn't know what to do?  How will I handle working and being a mommy?  If I stay home will I like it?  How will I continue to be an attentive wife with a little one that needs me all the time?  How will I still find time for friends and family? How should I decorate the nursery?  How will I give a bath to something so small?  Will I ever have me time again?  These were the things that consumed a lot of my thoughts when I found out I was pregnant with your brother...these thoughts along with sheer excitement that we were going to be a family!  I have realized that since finding out about you, I have been pretty at ease and sometimes forget that I am pregnant-that is until I see myself in the mirror and wish we had less lighting and wish we had "skinny mirrors" like they do at the fair.  I have not been near as wrapped up in thinking about this pregnancy or the details I considered while pregnant with your brother.  For a little while I felt guilty about this and kept asking myself, am I not as excited?  What's the deal?  It then hit me...I am every bit as excited; probably a bit more. Not only do we get to anticipate another baby, but I also get to anticipate seeing Will as a big brother...the greatest gift we can give him next to his salvation in Christ!  The difference is not my level of excitement, but rather the way I am handling that excitement.  With Will, everything was new...every pregnancy symptom, every thought, every worry, every anticipation, etc.  With you, I am already a mommy and I don't have to worry about the petty things I did with Will.  I don't have to doubt myself or consume my thoughts with the "what ifs".  What I am experiencing is comfortable joy!  There is such a comfort in knowing that I don't have to worry about things with you, because I have seen the way the Lord provided me with all the skills I needed to be a mom, when I needed them.  He saw me through those dark times when I felt inadequate.  He gave me peace when I didn't know how to keep Will from crying.  He gave me strength when Will was sick and I was running on fumes. He gave me patience when Will wouldn't sleep through the night until  he was almost a year old.  He gave me a new perspective when I realized my house would never be truly clean again. He gave me support through friends, family and new mommy friends when I needed them most.  He has provided beyond what I could have asked for, and so there is an incredible feeling of comfort in knowing this now.  I already love you beyond comprehension and the one thing I do dwell on, is seeing you and holding you for the first time!  My heart was forever changed when I saw your brother for the first time, and we are blessed beyond words that we get to experience that feeling again with you!  We are not finding out what we are having (your sweet daddy wanted it to be a surprise) so your nursery will be white and yellow...hope you like it:)  I cannot pray for you by name yet, but that doesn't mean I am not praying my heart out for you!  That is one thing that has been true of both pregnancies...my gratitude to God for blessing us, and trusting us, with the gift of children. You are one lucky little one, because you have an outstanding daddy who is so loving!  There will not be a day in your life when you don't hear the words, "I love you" from both your mommy and your daddy. We are not perfect parents, as there is no such thing, but I pray you will always give us grace in our parenting.  I pray that you will never know a day that you don't feel the love of your parents...and the love of Christ.  I cannot to wait to meet you little one!!!  

Thank you for letting me share my heart with you today...I hope that one day it will mean something to you to know how much we loved you before you were even born!  

Love, Mommy

Send a card at Christmas...

Christmas is my favorite time of year and it is no secret to those who know me that it makes me giddy and borderline obnoxious!  I love everything about Christmas...the lights, the trees, the songs, baking, wrapping presents, giving presents, receiving presents, the movies, hot apple cider, gingerbread cookies, cinnamon candles, the Salvation Army bell, cold weather, receiving Christmas cards, sending Christmas cards and most of all...I love celebrating the birth of my Savior!  I know, I am "that" person at Christmas...I really should have my own Hallmark movie!  

As much as I adore all things Christmas and how joyful this time of year makes me, I have been rather convicted the last few days about those out there that may be dreading Christmas this year.  It may be their first Christmas without their mom, or dad...or even their child.  It may be that they fear this will be their loved one's last Christmas.  It may be their inability to enjoy Christmas to its fullest because they are battling cancer, or watching a loved one go through treatment.  It may be that they have lost their job and cannot afford to give their family what they believe to be a "proper" Christmas.  It may be a family that is struggling to get pregnant and seeing all of the Christmas cards with babies and children brings them down.  There are so many people hurting and I tend to forget that when I get caught up in my own Christmas wonderland.  I have felt very convicted to remember all of those in my life that may be dealing with some very difficult emotions this Christmas and to reach out to those people that I love.  I am creating a bit of a challenge for myself to send a card to these people...but not a Christmas card.  A card of thoughtfulness, of encouragement...and of compassion for whatever it is they may be going through. A card that lets them know that they are not forgotten and that someone is praying for them.  I worked as a hospice social worker for 9 years and I saw firsthand how trying the Christmas season can be for those who are facing the death of a loved one, or for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. I know how encouraged my patients' families were when they received a phone call, or a card, or a short visit from someone...and I am challenging myself to be that friend to those who may need it this year.  A card may sound small, but it carries big meaning to someone who may be hurting beyond what they can handle.  

Christmas has always meant so much to me, but this year I want to consider what it may be meaning for others.  While Christmas can spark a variety of emotions, one thing is certain about Christmas...it offers hope.  Jesus' birth is a precious day for believers because it celebrates the day of our Savior and what that means for us.  We have a God that loves us so much that He sent his ONLY son to become flesh so that He could bear our sins on a cross...so that those who come to know Him could have eternal life with Him.  We are loved beyond what we deserve and a God that loves us enough to do that, will be there with us through the worst of times.  I am so very thankful that love came down at Christmas...and that love is ours to give!  My conviction may not be a conviction of yours, but if it is...join me in sending a card at Christmas:)