It is so very hard to believe that Will will be 6 months old on Friday. It truly seems like yesterday that we were bringing him home from the hospital...excited and nervous first-time parents. The one piece of advice that was always a constant among those around us was, "enjoy it, they grow up too fast". I didn't really understand that until now...and even now, I have only a small glimpse into what that means. It is so tricky as a parent because you are always anticipating that next milestone, and before you know it you've missed the current milestone. When they're a newborn, you're anticipating their first smile...or watching for them to roll over. When they roll over, you begin waiting them for them to sit up...and so on and so on.
Over the past six months, I have had to figure out A LOT and I am thankful for all of those who have helped me along the way. I am going to list a few of the things I have learned, realized, or discovered (post Will) that may help any new moms out there (or soon-to-be moms). To my friends who are expecting-hope this helps in some small way. Just remember, if I can do this...ANYONE can!:)
1. Cherish every moment with your little one. It sounds so simple, but it is so true. As a new mom, I was completely overwhelmed by the idea of a schedule. I think I spent too much time worrying about when he was suppose to eat, sleep, and play that I missed some precious moments of enjoying him sleeping, eating and playing. I am a VERY scheduled person, but Will has taught me so much about letting go of routine and being more flexible. Isn't it amazing how much a baby can teach us about ourselves...and they don't even know they're doing it. Will has definitely reminded me that I am not in control...and to just look up to the One who is.
2. Not all advice is good advice. Take others advice for what it is, advice...not the gospel. As a new mom, you will get LOTS of unsolicited "advice" and you have to decide what is helpful, relevant, and what actually makes sense for you and your little one. On the flip side of that...don't be afraid to ask for advice. I think sometimes we fear that by asking others questions that we may come across as though we don't know what we are doing...but the truth is, the person you are asking, probably asked someone the same questions when they were a new mom:) I actually had to ask a friend how you put the car seat in the grocery cart, because I was scared of looking like an idiot at the store!!! As a new mom, there is no such thing as a "dumb question".
3. Plan for explosive diapers when you are going somewhere. I have learned that it is almost inevitable that Will will have the worst diapers when we arrive somewhere. This typically means that whatever adorable outfit I had him dressed in, is now soiled and we have to have a wardrobe change in the back of the Yukon. I would encourage all new mommies to have a blanket, that washes easily, stored in the back of the car-in case you need an area to give a babywipe bath:) Publix grocery sacks are my best friend. I always have a handful ready to go for dirty diapers, outfits, etc. In case anyone thinks that I am not "green" when they see me leaving the grocery store with all of my groceries in plastic bags and no reusable grocery bags, it's because I am recycling my bags in other ways...so don't judge me.
4. Hot flashes in the first few weeks, postpartum, are normal and awful. If you wake up in a pool of your own sweat...don't panic, it's completely normal. Nobody told me this, so I thought I had some terrible post-pregnancy infection that was causing high fever. Stupid, I know...but honest:)
5. Let your husband help...and praise him when he does. If you are lucky enough to have a husband who wants to help out and be a part of your little one's care, then let him. I think it is very easy for Moms to fall into the mindset of being "super mom", but it will most likely result in "sleepy mom". Parenting is a two person job, so involve dad as much as possible. I had a friend remind me of this while I was pregnant and I am thankful she did. She shared with me that she was always hesitant to let her husband help because he didn't always do it the way she did. She soon realized that she resented him not helping, but knew it was her own fault that he wasn't, because she had isolated him by making him feel like she didn't want, or need, his help. I am thankful for honest friends who shared their experiences with me.
6. If you feel like you don't know what you're doing...that's normal:) Any new mom who tells you she knew exactly what she was doing is lying. There will be times in the first few weeks that you will be so tired and so hormonal, that you will just cry. You will feel like you can't control your emotions and the tears will come out of nowhere. There was a day, in the first 2 weeks, when we had a room full of company and I felt the tears coming. By tears, I don't mean watery eyes...I mean full-blown Steel Magnolias style tears. I had to walk out of the room, go to the bathroom and get myself together. It is funny now, but at the time, I felt crazy...and nobody likes to feel crazy!
7. Have frozen dinners tucked away in the freezer for when you are having "one of those days". Believe me when I tell you that it will be like Christmas when you open the freezer and have a meal to throw in the oven...when you've had a no good, horrible, very bad day. I have gotten in the routine of having a cooking day to make 5-7 meals that I can freeze. This is also wonderful to have in case you need to take a meal to someone else:)
8. Don't be afraid to rock your baby to sleep. There is a lot of literature out there that discourages rocking your baby because then they never learn to "self soothe". I understand the need for your little one to learn how to put themselves back to sleep, however there will be times when they just need a little help:) I am thankful that I threw those books out the window and now have so many precious memories of rocking Will...sometimes rocking myself to sleep in the process!:) I have never met a grandmother that did not rock their baby...so if it worked for the generations before us, it can't be all bad!
9. Make "mommy friends" with moms who have little ones around the same age as your little one. I had no idea what a blessing it would be to have other moms as a source of knowledge and encouragement.
10. Take time for yourself and take time for your marriage. Let your family and friends babysit so you can have a date night with your husband. I think babies are a lot like dogs, in that they have no concept of time...so when you return, they won't even know you were gone:)
11. Journal!!! This is something I wish I was better at, and part of the reason I now have a blog! I have several friends who write letters to their little ones...and I love this!!! I am going to start this week, but I hate that I missed out writing to Will the first 5 months!
12. Baby weight does not "fall off" everyone, so don't be discouraged when your weight "falls on" for longer than you expected, and longer than you wanted. Baby weight is a lot like the house guest that comes and doesn't know when to leave. A good friend reminded me that it takes 9 months to put the weight on, so it will take 9 months to get the weight off. I am 4 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight...and it has taken a lot of work to get off what I have. The other thing I have discovered is that my clothes do not fit the same...and I am not sure they ever will again, but I am going to keep trying!!! LOL.
So I realize this list could go on and on...but the final advice I have is to pray for your child!!! This is listed last, because it has been the most important for me. I have always had an active prayer life, and have always understood the power and purpose of prayer...but as a mom, I have come to realize the need for prayer even more. The minute we found out we were pregnant, worry entered into my mind and heart. I know that worry does not come from God, so I wanted to get rid of it. The only way to not worry constantly about this precious gift you have been given, is to talk to the Lord and remind yourself that He knows every hair on your little one's head. He is in control and He has a plan...and we must trust in His plan. His plan does not include worry, but rather total reliance on Him. This is something I have struggled with more as a mom, than I ever did before. A child brings more things to think about, which opens the door to more things to worry about...but ultimately this means more things to pray about!:)
I did not intend for this to get so lengthy, but maybe there is some tidbit within my rambling that can help someone along the way:)
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